Unemployment #6: Knowing when to move on, or realizing you aren’t “sexy” enough for the Portland service industry
January 28, 2011 § 2 Comments
I have been called that frightful word, “hipster.”
I listen to music, a lot of it, and I will tell you that I hate the Dave Matthews Band ever since the radio abused “Crash” when I was in high school. I will also exclaim that some of your music choices are “disgusting,” but probably behind your back.
I watch shows you’ve probably never seen, or more likely, have never heard of. Such as “Cowboy Bebop,” “Firefly,” “Battlestar Galactica” (is that hipster or just nerd?), and “The Wire” (I can’t help it, I’m obsessed with the show).
I wear dark clothes and vintage coats (just the coats though, I’m too fat to fit into vintage outfits).
I have a tattoo that depicts my upbringing and my favorite song of 2004.
The most hipster thing about me, however, is my attitude, and this offends me. I like to think of myself becoming jaded the moment I found myself behind the slats of a baby crib, not because an abominate subculture says I am.
Like every other hipster, I resent being called one. I agree, however, that I have hipster qualities that disgust others (or just my general qualities that frighten people). Little did I know, however, that I was to be one-upped in hipsterdom by EVERY OTHER PERSON in Portland, OR, thus making me the least sexy newcomer to apply for work in the service industry.
Fact: I am not sexy enough to be a server or bartender in Portland.
Why? Rejection from low-end employers based upon my looks (no piercing, no visible tattoos, no eye make-up), dress (interview appropriate, sensible shoes, neutral colors), speak (articulating my words, not saying “like” or “rad”), resume (a wrongly outfitted resume with too much job experience in different fields, interviewers get confused), and status (Portland newcomer with no friends or connections).
The problem with not being cool enough for Portland stems from my main problem of desperation. If I had a job already, I would be more confident in interviews for other jobs, but as it is, I am absolutely desperate for work, and I’m sure that shows.
At any rate, I’d like my friends and acquaintances to reconsider my “hipster” status, because here, I don’t exist as one.
- Portlandia: Put A Bird On It & Check Your Chicken’s Papers (apartmenttherapy.com)
- What Cracked.com says about Hipsters