About Me: The American Dream

Me now:

As most people don’t know, professional baseball bats are made out of maple or ash, they both break rather easily. How many times has a broken bat led to an RBI? I’m not sure, I googled it and nothing convincing came up. How many times has broken bat led the batter to first base? Plenty. How many times have baseball terms been used as metaphors for life? EVERY DAMN DAY.


Me 7 years ago when this blog was called something else:

After working three simultaneous jobs last year (bartender, front desk supervisor, sales associate) while living in Wisconsin, six months of no work should come as a welcome vacation, yet here I am living in Portland, in my sister’s basement, with a college degree that’s already 4 years past fresh, and subsisting on familial love, food stamps, and The Wire.

So what am I doing about it now? Aside from the regular job-hunting crap, I’m writing this blog to express my frustrations with good humor, black humor, and invectives to merit my accomplishments as a writer and to offer support or ill-witted cackling to those who are in a similar situation to mine.

I’m not suggesting that I have any business being here, shooting my mouth off on the Internet. On this blog, however, I mostly make fun of myself and my mistakes by pointing out the crumbling, biased job market intent on selecting people based on bullshit and the demise of our st-stutt-stuttering economy.

All done with my natural and enjoyable dark rosy magic, at least for your sake,  I hope you enjoy or find comfort in what you come across. You aren’t the only person out there without a job, and if you have one but are searching for better, know that your frustrations are shared by many.

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§ 2 Responses to About Me: The American Dream

  • Arick says:

    Greetings! As a college student desperately trying to find some work so that I am not living off of peanut butter and jelly, I wanted to write to say I found your website both hilarious and helpful. I am new to this cover letter crap, and I revel in your humor and wish you luck if you have not already landed a position in the workforce that is desirable or worse, adequate. On your cover letter page (from which I found this site) I noticed the alcoholic beverage example you wished to obscure was not successful in one instance and perhaps for non-disclosure or whatever you may like to know. Otherwise, I look forward to learning from your experience and enjoying the laughs along the way. Thanks!

    • Thank you! I have found work, but it is, as you put it, adequate. Good luck with your search. These are trying times. As Bobby Dylan puts it, “money doesn’t talk, it swears”–unfortunately, it does a lot more than that.

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