Unemployment #4: Taking objective notice of how everyone around you with a job is doing piss poor work

January 26, 2011 § 3 Comments

When you’re only applying for the most basic of jobs (the ones you can see on your daily job hunting treks), you find yourself wondering how that person at Starbucks that took 30 seconds to greet you because they were talking to their work buddy is STILL working there.

Relax. This is just the desperation permeating your touchy touchy nerves.

Breathe and stop (Q-Tip offers sweet advice). Agitation comes easily with unemployment. Irritability is unavoidable. And yes, you probably could do a better job navigating the register than that new girl at the gas station that you just asked last month whether they were hiring, but CHILL.

Take a step back. Has much really changed? At some point in your employment history you thought, no, you KNEW that you could do a better job than the person above you.  Remember your last job?   You probably scoffed at the idea of minimum wage.  “Been there, done that.”

Well, you might have to be there and do that all over again.  Get over it.  Thinking that you “deserve” something more than someone else is bullshit. Patience, time, and focus are what you need to keep trucking. Success is measured not on what you become, but how you come into yourself. Alright, I even cringed a bit over that one.

Anyway, you can’t stay unemployed forever.  We hope.

Keep your poise and aim to grow into something like this hepcat:

Lester Freamon from “The Wire.”

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Unemployment #1: Unemployed? Learn how to party again.

January 24, 2011 § Leave a comment

Whether you’re newly unemployed, about to graduate college, or looking for a new job, realize that you are entering what can partly be considered the Second Great Depression of our nation, and probably your life. Been depressed and anxious before? Get ready to go through that awful hullabaloo all over again.

Chances are a few of us partied really hard in high school and the rest hit that fuzzy stage in our early to mid-twenties. I’m not suggesting that getting shit faced every day is an awesome idea, but alcohol can help relieve some stress and  your down-in-the-dumps unemployed ass might even crack a smile and mumble an intelligent joke or two.

Unemployed people should party once or twice a week. It gives you a day to look forward to that hopefully does not coincide with your monthly reload of food stamps money (another reason to get excited).

Stave off the alcohol during the rest of the week, a beer here, glass’o’wine there is alright, but avoid getting too drunk, binge-drinking, or using alcohol to assuage your dwindling self-esteem. We all know that alcohol is a depressant and will actually negatively affect your already unfortunate situation. Plus, it’s damn expensive.

Partying of course means different things to our politically correct and diverse nation. For the purposes of this blog, however, partying means one thing: swallow those martinis like you’re twenty-two and have three livers.

Raise up your glass of booze and proverbial spirits. The point is to have a little fun, keep positive vibes, energy, or whatever, and not get down on yourself for being an unemployed asshole.

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